love > money

there was a guy who wouldn't stop staring me down at work last night. he was very drunk and probably very horny. he wrote "i love you!" at the top of the credit card slip after he signed it, but left $0 tip. I guess his love makes up for money (or lack thereof), eh eh?

virgin martini

The server sent in an order to the service bar -- "Virgin Martini". We all had a good laugh at that one. (For those of you who don't know - a Martini is 100% alcohol).

Then we asked her what it meant -- she said she'd go find out from the customer. She came back with the answer: "Virgin Cosmo." We had another good laugh. (A cosmo is like 98% alcohol).

I ended up making a drink of Cranberry+Orange Juice with a dash of Lime Juice and Sour Mix. I think that cost him $8 as opposed to $3 for a normal juice drink. LOL.

summer jam

I love the DJ on saturday nights. he plays awesome mellow trance music before the hiphop crowd comes in, and he also plays oldies and dance remixes. Last night he played Summer Jam and I love that song -- I haven't heard it in forever! It just snowed a million inches here in Philly last night, and it was slow but a couple big tippers were there to cushion the fall. And yea, that song makes me miss summer...and california :>

cheap rolled bills

If I ask you for $5 for a bottle of beer, PLEASE don't give me 5 crumpled dollar bills. With no tip.

You know, maybe I should be counting my blessings. Because sometimes they give 4 crumpled dollar bills, and by the time I unroll them they're gone.

Seriously.

have your martini and drink it too

Do girls think that flavored martinis aren't supposed to be strong because they're colorful and girly looking? I mean, this girl said the cosmo was too strong so she wanted more cranberry juice in it. okay, it IS pretty much 96+% alcohol. What do you expect?

Someone else ordered a gimlet and said it was too strong. Please, that's also like 98% vodka. What do you want, water? Maybe cuz you wanted well vodka, and I gotta admit that is nasty stuff.

glass of Philly water

This guy asked what beer Hoegaarden was, and i explained that it was a white belgium beer. After that when he ordered another round he'd ask for more of the 'Belgium' beer. At the end of the night, he sweetly asked if he could have a glass of 'Philly' water. I don't know many guys that can pull off this level of corniness :)

i'm back, with a cut

Hey all. It's been a while, but I hope that those of you religiously devoted to my stories can forgive my temporary hiatus. I'm also going to try to keep my posts less vulgar, because I've decided that coming off as a seriously angry person in my posts is 1) not fully representative of who I am, only of the tired angry person I am after serving idiots at work, and 2) does not hold true anymore because our bar now legally stops serving alcohol after 2 am after the cops gave the owners a warning, which means now I get to go home at 3am instead of like 4-5am waiting for morons to go home, and 3) now that i've seen pretty much all the things stupid people can do, i'm more inclined to be immune to them... but there's a LOT of stupid people out there.. including myself (read below).

so a martini glass was knocked over into the bar, and broke in the sink. well, of course it was busy as heck so i just fished out the big chunks and threw them away. at the end of the shift there were a bunch of towels in the sink and i reached in to grab one.. and promptly cut my finger. it hurt almost as much as the realization of how careless i was :P