exCUSE me, but i ordered a water...!!

come 2am, last call and last drinks are served. this girl asks for water and i'm in the middle of wiping down the bar or rinsing something, and i completely forget about the water. then i pass by a couple minutes later and she's like, "exCUSE ME, but I ORDERED A WATER and i HAVEN'T GOTTEN IT YET." i was like...wtf?? and i look at her and nod. then of course i don't give her the damn water because she gave me such an attitude.

haha i made her complain about 3 times before i actually gave her the water, and i only gave her water when i made water for another guy who only had to ask nicely ONCE.

people need to chill. (myself included? lol).

waiting for a table at a busy bar

It was surprisingly busy at the bar during dinnertime. Which means it was also busy at the tables, which means people had to wait for tables at the bar. So three people come and take up 3 bar stools and sit and chat as they wait for their table, and don't order any drinks. People are trying to order drinks from me AROUND them. Please, be aware of your surroundings and realize that you are in the way?

big shot ny guy.. again (warning - long)

remember that guy who came in a while ago and bragged about how he worked on wall street? then when i asked what he did, he said ' oh i work with stocks and bonds and stuff like that." then i asked, 'oh , do you trade?" he said, "nah, i help build the company, infrastructure, hire people." HAHAHAHAHA. you work on wall street as a recruiter, darling, yes, it's such an IMPORTANT job. (relatively, of course.)

So anyway , he comes in again today and we sort of reintroduce ourselves again because we both sorta forgot each other. so i said, 'oh yea, you're the guy that travels between ny and philly. so how's your work going in ny?" and he said "oh you know, ny is ny, pretty cool (in a pretty condescending tone, as if i had no idea what ny was like)." later another regular comes in and asks me about the job offer i took, which is with a boutique consulting firm in ny after graduation. then after that the guy starts smack talking consulting, about how it doesn't pay well, and he could get me a job anywhere i want to in ny. then i get into a discussion about how yes, consulting in GENERAL is pretty sucky, and in general they don't pay well, but my firm happens to be paying me just as much as wall streeters AND other stuff. Then he continues being an ass and saying, 'well just tell me where you want to work and i'll get you a job anywhere you like.' i said, no i chose this company for a reason...blah blah.

So ANYWAY later he looks at me and he says, ' you know, you look like a goldman sachs girl (as if he was the EXPERT)." i said, 'well i DID coincidentally work for them one summer, but what exactly does a goldman sachs girl represent?" and he said,' oh you know, just cute, stuff like that." and i said, "well that depends on the department" while REALLY i was thinking of the big arrogant assholes at GS who have sticks up their asses and think they're better than the rest of the world...coincidentally like this guy! WOW. THIS is why i don't want to work in a bulge bracket firm and deal with fucking bullshit assholes who think they're god's gift to earth. AHH! AHH ! AHH!!

ok, end /rant

eggnog isn't alcoholic

after 2 am:
guy: Can I get two beers please?
me: Sorry, we're not serving anymore alcohol.
guy: Aw, really? me: Yes, really.
guy's friend: Well, can I have some eggnog then?
me: We don't have eggnog.
guy's [fucking moron idiot asshole] friend: Yes, but you said no more alcohol right? Eggnog isn't alcoholic.
me: Ok, but we don't have eggnog. Bye!

Smart-alecky morons who think they're funny ought to be shot. And eggnog is usually served with alcohol, dumbass.

i spend $8 on a girl's drink but $0 on tip

Please don't try to act like a gentleman and pretend you can afford the $8 drink for that whore that's flirting with you, when you can't even afford a tip that's > $0.

i'm too good to drink, but not to smoke

This guy came in and ordered a soda. Gave some stupid excuse about not drinking.

Then he pulls out a cigarette and starts chain smoking.

Seriously, he must be smoking some good stuff if he thinks smoking is any better for you than drinking is.

sore calves

Tonight was my first night back at work after a long hiatus of two weeks or so. And anyone that says bartending is easy work is crazy, because it's mentally and physically draining. Either that or I was truly a bum over winter break, because my calves were sore after standing and moving all night.

poor guy - girls are evil

There was a really drunk guy who tried to hit on two girls at the corner of the bar. The girls recognized him as a loser drunk guy, and completely ignored him. Then, while trying to talk to the girls, he was so drunk he accidentally spilled his drink all over one of the girls, who promptly got mad at him. He apologized and said he'll buy them a round of drinks. So the girls said "OKAY!" and went back to ignoring him after ordering their 'free' drinks from me. Poor guy.

20 minutes later the girls ordered another round of drinks and said, in front of the guy, "oh put it on his tab." I looked at the guy, and what could he say? Good thing he left a bit later because otherwise the girls would have milked him for all he's worth. Poor guys.

throwing money away

All the bartenders behind the bar pool tips. Our tip jar is right next to the trash can. So when it gets busy, sometimes I'll accidently empty an ash tray into the tip jar, or throw money into the trash (which I definitely really watch out for!). But today at the end of the shift I saw a lonely dollar bill in the trash. Talk about throwing money away. That dollar is a whole Mcdonald's cheeseburger!!

hi darlings

well, guess who's back and bigger than ever? (yea, especially after those holiday feasts -- but i gotta try to look decent behind the bar, y'know). Anyway I hope my lovely blog fans are still around, because I have some great vents, rants, and silly stories that truly reflect how dumb people can be (even if they're paying customers).